- We'll just be out back testing these
- smoke bombs; super-high-power-specialty GLOW sticks; gun sights; night vision goggles; you get the hint.
- "What color smoke bombs do you think would be best?"
- FOR WHAT? "As SMOKE BOMBS, duh." I mean: FOR WHAT PURPOSE are we choosing a smoke bomb color?? "For anything! Gawh! There are SO MANY REASONS smoke bombs come in handy!" [blank stare] "Red." "That's what I thought, too."
- Don't forget to check your craw-fish trap, son.
- Hey, Mom, did you see the tadpole farm today?
- Be careful with that machete. Don't forget to clear the other side, too, though.
- Oh look, the lawnmower is in the middle of the yard again. Do I hear the video games on?? Yes. Yes, I definitely do hear the video games....assholes. [Yes, spoken out loud to myself. while chuckling, of course.]
- Ross broke it.
- Ross fixed it.
- Ross broke it again. Ross needs your credit card one more time. Ross fixed it.
- Stop Bear, NO!
- Make room for Jesus. Please don't have sex. No seriously, guys, please don't have sex. Scoot.over. Do you really have to sit that close? Hey guys, where are Emmo and Abz? Guys? Guys!? You're supposed to be Jesus! Go find them! Hand check! Hey guys, seriously, please don't have sex. "MOM!" "Sarah!" "OK!" "Mommmm!" Ok, ok, that's all, I'm done. Here's a condom: it's protection, not permission. [OK, honestly, the last one hasn't actually been said out loud.]
- Yeah, put that ladder in the back of that truck, that's a good idea!
- Hang on, let me get my waders on, I'll be right there.
- Is the mail here? I ordered another gun part. Not yet, and I just checked because so did I.
- Driver's training starts next week. AND: Yes, Emerson, you have to go. What is WRONG with you? Don't you understand that a CAR is FREEDOM at your age?! I want you to go - get out there, be a teenager, have fun! You are a very responsible kid, you've earned the right to at least want a little freedom. And son, don't worry, I won't send you out into the world without adequate training. But, kiddo, that means we have to start. You can do it, yes, you can pass the class, and we'll all help you: me, dad, Steph, Nate, ALL of your grandparents. No worries, wonderful son of mine, you got this, I believe in you. Let's go get you some freedom.
- Nate, you do understand that is going to be a totally different conversation with the other one, right? "Totally."
I could go on. Maybe tomorrow I will because it's rather amusing to sit here and contemplate how amusing life is with the yahoos and a roommate/boyfriend and all of our various friends. The house is rarely quiet, the entire place is always dirty, there is always a kid/dog/person underfoot and I motherfucking love it. It's a home - it's our home and everyone is welcome.
Between the back-back, the yard, the side yard, the garage, the basement and all of our bedrooms, we all have enough space, and our own little areas that we crawl to when we do need quiet time or space to ourselves. But hands down, all in all: you know you're doing ok when you're biggest concerns on a daily basis are just which hobby to do after work that day. (I mean, sometimes, I actually DO get overwhelmed: do I garden? mow the lawn? list more glass pieces? go shooting? visit gun stores to look for your parts? read? write??
And those are just my options when I DON'T have the kids. When I DO have them, it's a whole other, just as long, just as fun-sounding!
So yeah, I think I'm doing ok.