But it's the extreme lack of patience in me that comes out in full force when I am ready to make a decision and I have to wait.
Like, OK, if I can't afford the house that we picked and think is perfect, just tell us, so I can move on in the house hunting obsession (using the excuse of "I want to get the kids settled before school starts again" when it's really just me being very, very ....ummm, determined...)
We went in $15,000 under asking. They countered with only $5000 more than that, agreed to the concessions and a one year home warranty (credit to having a smart Realtor on that one! But Matt will be thrilled when I tell him that tidbit when he gets home tonight...)
We are accepting. I mean, OF COURSE, we are accepting! One acre lot, IN TOWN, where I love living so I can ride my bike everywhere, (Almont, by the way) my 100 year old house, completely renovated, right down to the foundation, windows, roof, higher ceilings and everything! 1500 square feet with 3 beds and 2 baths. Because nothing is perfect, it doesn't have: a basement that can be finished (as in Michigan basement), an extra room for an office, it lacks closet space, but has storage areas in the basement and the garage. There also isn't a sunroom or a pole barn.
But the important things are there, and what's missing, we can build. I think picking out a house with Matt was the best thing I could have done. He kept me on track on what's important, and that is: the structure and building is completely renovated, unlike the other 100 year old homes. It is way easier to ADD what is missing to something that is solid than renovate things that are falling apart. There is a whole acre to work with, so we can make it what we want.
And although I won't have a separate office, we can add french doors to the dining room, making it more private from the living room when I want to work and they want to watch tv. All the little compromises are things I can work with. And having everything move-in ready means we don't have to do anything until we can afford to do anything.
There is still the long process of getting financing (going rural development means we will be at the mercy of the government and their oh-so-efficient time management skills....) complete and getting from here to closing with as little setbacks as possible, but I actually have faith. AND my head knows I am not in a hurry - if the 45 day process takes 90 days, well that is six more weeks of saving money for the appliances it doesn't have.
I am so very very proud of myself for doing this. I am so proud of the work it took to build my credit, consolidating my student loans that I thought would paralyze me for life, and building a career at the same company for 5 and a half years - getting myself to a point where I can buy a house on my own. (And am.) (I think the reasons here are obvious.)(I promised the boys I would do everything in my power to not move again - unless we had to rent for one more year - the house we would get would be one we could stay in until THEY are ready to leave. But no one but a bank will have the power to make us move again.....)
But although I CAN do this by myself, I am not truly doing it by myself. Matt and I are doing this together, if not technically, than in spirit. We are going to build a life together in this house. We are going to be old cranky people sitting in our rocking chairs on the beautiful front porch yelling at kids to stay off our grass together. I can see it.
One day I will be ready to be more than facebook married, but until, we are together. And we are starting fresh in a new town, in an environment completely new and foreign to both me and my boys. I am excited that I have the opportunity to move them a little more north and show them a different way of life - a country way of life. I am excited to give them the biggest yard they've ever had with room to explore, trees to climb, ravines to roam.
I might even get some free range chickens.
THAT is a whole different story.........fuckin Matt.