Monday, March 9, 2015

Yes, I am ALIVE

I have just been obsessed with a super secret, super awesome new project!  It is almost ready to be revealed, and here's a hint: it totally has to do with my glass obsession!

I have missed my blog terribly, but I have been writing, and hopefully, everyone will soon see what I've been working on!

My apologies for my complete and utter lack of amusing and entertaining blog posts.  (To be honest, as always) my new hobby has been the only thing keeping me sane as I adjust to being single again, a homeowner AND a puppy owner trying to raise two ever-growing boys....I have been more than overwhelmed at all the responsibilities, often crying myself to sleep with frustration and loneliness.  But the darkness seems to fading as the sun starts peeking through more and more.

It seems, of each new phase in my life, the adjustments I've had to make here, as a homeowner, and especially as a puppy raising, single mom, certainly have been the toughest.  Of course, the disappointment I feel in doing this all on my own when I truly thought I'd finally found THE ONE I was supposed to be with has obviously added to all of the stress and pain.

I tell my family all the time, the hardest part has been surviving without my mom's help - and it's true. I made this move with the intentions of Marko and I doing it together.  However, the last 6 months of my relationship with him have been so much more *bad* than *good* that I know in my heart that this wasn't meant to be.

Cutting the cord, as my dad calls it, has been near impossible.  Every time I get super overwhelmed, I let him back in.  My buddy Nate is buying a house up here and needs a place to stay for 2-3 months. He asked if he could rent a room from me and my response was "if you help me train my dog, take the trash out and help with groceries, you don't have to pay rent."

Those things alone are worth more than money, and are way more help than I have gotten since I moved this little family in back in September.

That's my update.  That's my life.

Just sayin'.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Survival: Operation Isolation - Day 2

If you've never had the change to have a whole day to yourself (plus Dog) to wander your big old house randomly, doing chores as you see them, or not, or watching a bit of tv, and revel in the quietness of being by yourself, I HIGHLY recommend it.  Depending on your personality, one day may be enough for you, but everyone should have a day like that once in a while.  PERIOD.

No one telling you what to do (as in: no kids, no man), no one to worry about, no one making any noise, and no one blowing up your phone - for me, it's paradise.  I think I have a 2 day limit on that sort of paradise, but only because the snow is preventing me from feeling like I can go anywhere if I want to.  Yesterday I did a couple of errands to quench that drive for mobility - today I did a couple rounds of shoveling.

Other than being bummed about Super Bowl and not watching the first half with my family like I ALWAYS DO - I am not at all bothered that I get a bonus day of house time.  The only thing I am worried about is if the power goes out again.  I do have a generator now, but I have no idea how to use it, or if it even has gas, OR if I even have an extension cord here.

(Not many, er, none survived the first house....shut up TWM and Bump.)

After taking a few minutes to the admire the beauty of my yard and the peaceful snow that keeps it blanketed, I started to think about supplies.

  • Food
    • both food and snacks - check.
  • Candles
    • check
  • Reading material not requiring electricity or power
    • check
  • Computer and phones charged to 100, just in case
    • check
  • Lots of warm blankets and snow gear
    • check
  • Diet Pepsi and Amp
    • Fuck.
ALERT: if anyone is heading North this afternoon, if you could throw a case of Diet Soda out the window as you pass my house, it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.

I do not so much think it's dangerous to drive the 1/4 mile to the gas station if I get desperate for these items, it's that actually getting out of my DRIVEWAY can prove to be dangerous part, NO MATTER HOW FAR you plan on going.  The curb gets packed with runoff so tightly, I can't shovel it away.  And if I don't have a wide enough opening, I can't power through it.

If I get stuck, well, that's about the worst it can get.  Scratch that - if my ass end is actually IN the drive, there's hope for survival. If not, that mean half my car is hanging out in the slippery main drive of M53. That's about the worst it can get.  For the car, not me.  I'm not dumb enough to stay in it. 

As the boys have sucked my dry of everything else, I have one can of Amp and than I am onto water. Damn. With water as my only option, I make take the risk later - I haven't yet decided how badly I hate drinking water.

In my normal alone-ness routine, I have the tv on for noise - and Alaskan Bush People and Alaska, The Last Frontier has been on a steady stream.  (You know - because my life is SO MUCH like theirs now....)

I would LOVE to shoot a mock video chronicling my *survival* in a small town rural community, and doing over-the-top comparisons as I narrate what I am doing to the camera crew: 

"Well, you see now, it's crucial that I'm always prepared.  The last thing you want is to be caught in a life or death situation without your survival gear.  That is why I am currently checking to see if all of my make up is securely put away and out of the dangerous reach of the beast."

Yes.  The ideas for my mock video flood my head when I am out shoveling:

"It's important that I keep my walkways and driveways clear.  Being all by myself up here in wilderness means it all rests on my shoulders. It doesn't allow for laziness or mistakes."
Camera Crew: "Don't you have neighbors, like on either side of you?....with snow blowers?"
Me: "Don't be fooled by the word Neighbor and its friendly connotation.  Most of them will kill you for the North Face coat off your back.  You'd be smart to not get close."

OH MAN, too bad Rie wasn't home to enhance the insanity.  It's always more fun now that his imagination and sense of humor is nearly on par with mine.  Emerson - well, whether or not he is here texting or at his dad's texting, it only makes a difference if Abby is around and he comes out of his teenageness long enough to pretend he uses real words and interacts with actual people.  I cannot bring myself to tell Abz it's an act. 

Riley's room has a view of the back where it makes our house look like it really is isolated on a wonderful, quiet, deserted piece of land.  Rather than smack dab on Main St with traffic noise.  But today - on Day 2 of Operation: Can Sarah Survive Isolation - even the roads are quiet. 

I love it. 

And you?  You are welcome to join me up here any time.  ANY TIME.  Just bring your own drinks and watch out for the *neighbors.* Or, at least "don't say I didn't warn ya..."

Just sayin.'

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

My Daddy Didn't Raise No Dummy (LIAR!)

Nothing makes my day more than a funny store to tell.  Except maybe a funny story to tell that happens to someone else or a funny story that isn't *annoying now, funny later*....today I only have the first.

First of all: I got a dog for the boys. I did NOT get a dog for myself. Yet I will care for this dog and try to train this dog and not kill this dog for the boys.  Because that's what moms do.

They also (mostly) try to do right by what is in their care - baby, cat, puppy, even teenagers.

With that being said, I really mother fucking hate Mondays and Tuesdays and every other weekend when the boys aren't here to help me.  But, like a good mom, the minute I can, I rush home to let the dog out and be with her on the days I have to work and can't manage any hours from home.  Like today for instance.  I went home, made a to-do list, packed the car with toys, a couple treats, a towel, a leash and said dog.  Because taking her on my errands has become somewhat a habit as often as I can.....

I start my list, ordered by route - because my daddy didn't raise no dummy. Except that he did.

Stop by chiro, pay bill
Drop water bill at Village
Dropoff prescriptions
Car wash
Gas/fill tire with air
Snacks
Pick up meds

I stop.
I look at the list, I look at the dog.
I look at the list. I look at the dog.
I look out my badly salted windows and think, I have to...

I SAY, OUT LOUD "You're gonna be fine, right? I mean, I'm right here. You'll be fine, right, Gracie."

I INTERPRET her one bark back to me as "Of course I'll be ok, mom. Ima good girl."
What she MEANT was "Aw HELLZ no.  If you take me through that car wash, Ima go ballistic on your sorry ass."

My bad.

I pulled up.  I paid and tipped.  I rolled down Grace's window to let the guys oooooh and ahhhh like girls with a baby. I think "we got this."

Right up until I didn't.  I didn't *have* shit.  I had one bat shit crazy dog, one pair of smashed sunglasses, one broker charger, and one obliterated to-do list.
Piss everywhere.  HOT PISS because I always put the seat heater on for her. (Yes, I do. Shut up.) OH and a couple of car wash dudes laughing hysterically as they watched me scream in surprise and complete loss of control:

"AH!! OMG!! GRACIE STOP!! IT'S FINE!! I'M RIGHT HERE! OMG!! GRACIE!! SHITFUCKSHIT!!!"

Stupid frickin' dog. What a pussy.

Owned by one pee smelling, over confident dumbass.

Yep.

Just sayin'.